I thought that losing a lover would be a painful experience that would take me days or weeks to get over. But what I found is that when friends part ways, that is an entirely different and uncomfortable situation from hell. As I heard my friend say the words that would alter our relationship forever, all our past memories raced through me equating the speed of my racing heart as I tried desperately grasping the fraying edges and defending myself to make it work. But the attempt wasn't enough to save the burning bridge. Fifteen years wasn't enough to absolve me of my current mistake.
I hurt her. No excuses on my part diminish the pain she felt. I understand that very well. But I hoped we could work it through and come to a resolution so that we would grow old together and be the two crazy ladies in the same nursing home terrorizing everyone with our canes. But I can only apologize so much to coax her to come back to me.
